Talking about abortion with your partner can be intense, emotional and a little scary and that’s all good. Such discussions are key, advocates say, to create trust and a sharing and an emotional support at such an intimate time.
At the end of the day, it’s your choice! But talking about it can help couples maneuver their way through, well, everything. And by the way, there is no right way to talk about it, just openly and respectfully with a measure of self-compassion as you find your way.
1. Understanding Your Own Feelings First
Before you speak, ask yourself: What feelings and needs of mine are behind this situation? There may be a potential benefit to bringing them up, because then when you’re talking about it with your partner they actually do take those things into consideration.
Honestly reflect whether you’re really in need of: Emotional empathy? Logistical assistance? Somebody to listen to you? You could jot down some thoughts or even just chat through how you’re feeling with a friend, counsellor or advice helpline.
2. Deciding On: When and Where
Go to a still, private space where you can comfortably speak freely and openly, without any distractions. Not in arguments, or so we could be done with things, or because one of you brings something to mind.
Comfort and safety matter. In good health and spirits, it is hard not to speak out or hear out loud.
3. How to Start the Conversation
And if you absolutely carry it around and read the title to people, actually picking it up and engaging with it can be the hardest part of all but leaving that situation aside (you skeetin’ in my face right now?), for a few notes of tough love you’ll get weeks’ worth of listening out of this thing. Here are two real openers from the same girl that get women on actual dates.
“There’s something personal that I want to tell you.”
“I’m pregnant and I need to talk through what this means for us.”
Well, now hold on a second, we’re not quite that bad are we? Speak your truth and call your partner in with no attack, no blame.
4. Work on the premise of your candid heart and unclouded mind.
Tell us what you’re experiencing and thinking whether it’s fear, confusion, a heaviness in your heart or even a sense of relief that life might be forced to slow down. Your story, and what’s on your mind.
If you are pretty certain, be courageous and act fast. And if you’re unsure, say, Let’s have a moment or time to think. Honesty about your limitations will invite this person’s respect and help you both construct a sense of emotional safety together.
5. Listening to Your Partner’s Perspective
If all you said was something like this, pause and give your partner a moment to speak. And they may need time to sort out their feelings, or to come back with an answer you didn’t even see coming.
Keep your cool and listen, without interruption. But listening is not the same thing as agreeing, it’s about keeping our minds open to their perspective even as we hold on to ours.
6. Handling Difficult Reactions
I hope that’s not the case, but if it is, and when you tell him or her your privacy has been literally ripped in two, and when he/she expresses love (love should be the first reaction) then let him/her join in what follows: Plan a recovery getaway, call every doctor’s office around the country, wherever necessary.
And if they really do hate it, well, Your emotional health matters first. I don’t mean that you owe it to yourself to stay in a conversation where someone makes you feel like crap, or harangued. For a bit of extra support in between, it’s OK to stop and look outside for some assistance.
I mean after all – whatever you say goes!
7. Cheering One Another Through The Process
This kind of dependency can help create a trust between couples as they journey on this road together. Your partner should feel like he is being dragged behind you, carrying what weight he can from sleep to aftercare, and maybe also doing an emotional check-in.
Keep on talking after that move. It’s the talk or decision Compassion around each other’s feelings is key.
8. When to Seek Professional Help
If feelings are overwhelming or you’re struggling to communicate, professional help can also be useful.
If the hockey club member could talk to a treatment (or counseling) provider, they might find that what is happening isn’t something that has to be shrouded in secrecy or shame.
Couples therapy can nudge partners up against their negotiations, compromise-your-way to respectful disagreement wall.
For nonjudgmental, confidential counseling, you can reach out to Serenity Choice Health.
Checkout our more articles here to get more guides related to abortion.
9. Key Things to Remember
- It’s your body, and you have the right to choose, no one is owed consent.
- But this is also where trust gets built through those conversations, open and respectful ones.
- It’s time to expand into some space, ask for help or give yourself a little time.
- You need empathy from your partner & maybe as importantly, from yourself.
FAQs on Having a talk about abortion
- How to Talk to Your Partner About Abortion?
Be calm and sincere. So speak from your perspective, not about how they should feel. Which brings us to it needing to be clear, calm language like: “I’ve made a decision that’s best for me” but here is the second counter to that. No fratric ideal assumed slights or diminishment of “Oh, you don’t understand.
- What if my partner doesn’t agree with my choice?
You can listen to their concerns, but your decision is still yours. If disagreement turns to pressure or guilt, seek support from trusted friends or professionals.
- Should I involve my partner in the decision?
That’s your choice. Some find comfort in sharing the decision. Most people prefer privacy. You are not required to involve your partner legally or emotionally if it doesn’t feel right.
- Can I have an abortion without telling my partner?
Yes, you can. The decision is usually confidential. But also think, before you decide to share or not, about your safety and well-being as well as any shared responsibilities.
- How do we move forward afterward?
Physical or emotional recovery is not rapid. Be prepared to discuss it, give space. Healing happens in different ways for everyone.
6. How to tell your partner you want an abortion?
Tell your partner in a calm, private moment. Be honest about how you feel and why this is your choice. Listen to their thoughts, but remember, it’s your body and your decision.
