When a friend or family member opts for an abortion, it can be difficult to go about knowing just what you should and definitely shouldn’t say or do. And they might just be afraid, or be sad or confused. What they really need, most likely, is kindness and compassion. Your backing can make the whole thing less nerve-wracking and assure your children that they are safe, loved.
Listen Without Judgment
Start by listening. If they’re in the mood, let them speak from the heart and tell their story. Do not ask why or offer advice unless they ask for it. Just small ones such as “I’m with you” or “You are not alone” are fantastic.
Have them see you honor/ value their decision. So if you have thoughts or feelings on the subject of abortion, this isn’t about your needs but theirs.
Offer Practical Help
The following are some typical tasks your loved one may need assistance with:
- Travel to and from the clinic or pharmacist
- Time away from work or school
- Interrupt after the response or drug.
- Consume small meals and attempt to drink a great deal of fluid
Instead of trying to be mind readers, gently remind people to tell us what they need. “Maybe I come and we eat something? is often (if not always) superior to “Tell me what ticket to punch.”
Provide Emotional Comfort
Some women feel better after an abortion. Others feel sadness or guilt. Both are normal. Allow your loved one the freedom to speak their mind.
You can comfort them by:
- Sitting quietly with them
- Watching a movie together
- Texting or calling on the phone
- Hugs and quiet presence
Don’t just knock their language experience like that. Say “It’s okay to feel whatever you feel,” rather than, “You’ll get over it soon.”
Help With Aftercare
After an abortion, rest matters. They may experience mild cramps, feel fatigued and notice some light bleeding for a day or two.
You can help by:
- Keeping a heating pad ready
- Bringing in comfort things (snacks or soft blankets, for example)
- Reminding them to take any medication or see a doctor络
- If they experience heavy bleeding, or have a fever, calling the clinic
- If you’re out of meds, it will also soothe them and make them heal faster.”
Respect Privacy and Boundaries
Abortion is personal. And don’t go public with it unless they give you that green light. You can’t discuss with anyone you don’t have to give written permission to tell even your best friend or family.
Also, respect their space. Some people want company. Others prefer quiet time alone. Let them lead the way.
Encourage Professional Support if Needed
If someone is unhappy or anxious for more than a few days. You can offer to help them look at other choices such as visiting with a counselor or finding out if there are any support groups nearby.
Mental health professionals might be able to help people move through these feelings in a way. That is safe for them. You could also offer to assist them in finding resources, if they would rather not go alone.
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Stay Present Beyond the Procedure
Support doesn’t stop when an abortion is finished. Close your days with simple acts of kindness.
Just a line: “Thinking of you today” or the offer to go for a walk, let them know that they are not alone and didn’t fall through the cracks.
“Being there with someone through an abortion is not about having answers,” said Dr. Reproductive Rights, whose organization has helped multiple former Sole patients procure abortions at other clinics after traveling to Missouri and learning that the clinic was closed.
Final Thoughts
Listen more than you talk. Be a good listener, give space and be nice. Your involvement can make this process less stressful and more serene for your loved one. In this way, you can support a loved one during abortion.
